Wednesday, June 22, 2011

The Questions We Should Stop Asking

A couple of weeks ago, my family went to a baseball game. As you can imagine, my two-year-old son was not all that interested in the game. Instead, he focused his attention on a couple of boys playing near us. After the game, I walked over to where the boys were playing and thanked their parents for allowing Rylan to join the fun.

The woman's response: "Of course. I bet this makes you want another one?" Even though I feel better about our miscarriages, her words still caught me off guard. In fact, they kind of stung. And they got me thinking about how many times I've probably said something similar to someone.

Something like . . .
"So when are you guys going to have a baby?"  OR
"When is baby number two coming along?"   OR
"You've been married for awhile now. When are you going to have kids?"

All these questions are asked with the best of intentions: to show interest in the life of someone else. But now that I've miscarried, I've learned something. Sometimes it's better to just not ask. Who knows? They might have tried for years. They might be going through fertility treatments. They might have recently miscarried.

I know that sweet woman didn't mean to hurt me with her question. I know I never meant to hurt anyone with mine. Nonetheless, it's time we start thinking more carefully about our words. It's time we stop asking so many questions.

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