I guess an update is overdue. I'm feeling quite a bit better. My anger towards God is mostly gone. No, I don't have any answers. Yes, I still think it sucks that our babies died. But I'm okay. And God is still here. He's still the same God he was before our first miscarriage. I don't understand why he allowed both of our babies to die. I probably never will-at least not on this side of heaven. But I trust him again. He does love me. He does want what's best for my life. And someday, he'll heal my heart. Someday, I won't feel broken. Someday, I'll feel whole again.
To those of you who were worried about me, rest assured. I'm doing better. And thank you. With this miscarriage, I had a difficult time seeing anything positive in my life. It took me awhile, but I'm starting to see those blessings again. You are some of those blessings. Thank you for the phone calls, the cards, the Facebook messages, the emails, the flowers, the giftcards, the sweets, the gifts, and the prayers. They were my flickers of hope. And I'm seeing them now.