Last week, my husband and I went on a cruise to the Bahamas. We booked the trip right after we miscarried the second time. We needed to get away from everything. I guess a part of me thought I would come back healed-no longer hurting over my two children in heaven. Unfortunately, that's not how grief works.
You can't run from it. You can't escape it. The cruise was wonderful. It was exactly what Keith and I needed. And to some extent, it was therapeutic. Keith and I grew closer together, and we were able to relax together-something neither one of us has done in quite some time. But I'm not healed.
I wish I could tell you that's all it took. A week away and no more pain. No more tears. No more anger. I came home refreshed, yes, but not healed. My heart still hurts. My arms still ache for the two children I'll never get to hold this side of heaven.
So if you've recently lost a baby and are considering taking a trip to get away from it all, do it (assuming you're not going into debt over the tickets). By all means, book the trip. It'll give you something to look forward to. It'll bond you to your husband. It'll give you an opportunity to get away from the daily reminders of your loss. But don't expect it to be a fix-all. You'll still hurt. You'll still cry. Because no matter how hard you try, you can't run away from grief. It'll be there waiting for you when you get home...