Wednesday, May 9, 2012

When Mother's Day Makes You Miserable

One thing I never realized before our miscarriages was how difficult certain holidays can be for those in the midst of grief. One holiday, in particular, that tends to be difficult for those of us who have angel babies is Mother's Day.

I have two living children whom I adore. Mother's Day is special for me because of them. On the other hand, it's nonetheless a reminder that my home is not complete. Three of my children aren't here. Do I treasure my three-year-old and six-month-old? Absolutely. But one child does not negate another. Regardless of any future children I pray we are able to have, there is still a piece of  my heart that longs for my babies in heaven. My guess is, this longing will always be a part of my life on this earth.

I also know that many women aren't as lucky as I. I have two living children-two squirmy, goofy boys that I get to laugh with and cuddle. Some babyloss mothers don't have any surviving children. Then there are other women who have never been able to get pregnant-women who have tried for years, gone through infertility testing, maybe even pursued adoption, all to leave them empty-handed.

Please remember these women on Mother's Day. I'm not asking you to cover up your own happiness or stuff your own joy. But I am asking you to care about those around you, to mourn with those who mourn, as Paul wrote. This Mother's Day, reach out to those women in your circles who don't get to hold any babies, who don't get to celebrate, who maybe aren't even treated like mothers. Reach out to the moms with empty arms. 

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