I'm feeling thankful this morning. Even though the last week has been miserable, there have been flickers of hope all throughout. I'll start at the beginning, at my ultrasound last Thursday morning.The staff at the medical clinic was incredible. I said the other day that I wish I hadn't done that ultrasound. But since I had to find out at some point anyway, I'm glad it was with them. They cried with me. They prayed with me. They even called my doctor so I didn't have to. They were the arms of God to me.
Then there was the staff at Dr. Lacey's office. They worked me in immediately, which I know they didn't have to do. And they took me back to a private room so I didn't have to watch pregnant woman after pregnant woman leave with a smile on her face. When Dr. Lacey first entered the room, he took my hand and said, "This is not your fault." Exactly what I needed to hear.
All of my nurses and doctors at my surgery on Friday were ordained by God. My anesthesiologist shared about his wife's miscarriage. My nurse shared about the four children she lost. They let me cry and helped me make it through one of the worst days of my life.
Since we found out on Thursday, my friends and family have walked me through each day. They've been here when we needed them, they've brought meals and gifts, they've mailed cards, they've cried with me and encouraged us, and they've prayed for us. Now more than ever before I have seen how God uses His people. Thank you for being God's shoulder for us to cry on. Church on Sunday was hard, but I'm so glad I went. God's people aren't perfect, but in our time of need, they came through. I'm proud to be a part of God's Church.
And then there are other ways I've seen God's hand. It was October 15th when our child left the comfort of my womb. October 15th is National Infant Loss Day. Now I know that every year, when I'm grieving the loss of my baby, thousands of other moms and dads are grieving with me. I won't ever be alone on that day.
I slept last night. You don't realize how precious sleep is until you can't find it. Thank you, Lord, for rest.
My husband has been a rock for me. I know men grieve differently than women, and he is grieving in his own way. Nonetheless, his strength carried me through the weekend. At the hospital when I couldn't stand to think about our child's resting place, Keith made the decision. He stood strong when I was falling.
I know there will be more blessings in the days to come, and I'm sure some are slipping from my mind as I write. I'm still broken, but God is working to put me back together again. He's using His people. Thanks for letting Him use you.