Sometimes . . .

Sometimes . . .
I miss my babies so much.

Sometimes . . .
I wish I was still pregnant.

Sometimes . . .
I think of what life would be like if they were still here. Our baby room would be done. My belly would be huge. Eden's arrival would be one month away. My heart wouldn't hurt so much. I wouldn't be scared of pregnancy.

Sometimes . . .
I want to turn back time and pray harder. Maybe God would keep them from dying. (But then I remember how hard I prayed. It wasn't my fault. God just said no.)

Sometimes . . .
I ask him why. He's yet to provide an answer that satisfies my heart.

BUT . . .

Someday . . .
I'll get all the answers I need.

Someday . . .
I'll meet my babies face to face.

Someday . . .
I'll be able to honestly say to those around me, "I'm okay." It won't be a lie anymore.

Someday . . .
God will wipe the tears from my face and hand me my two sleeping babies, precious Eden and beautiful Jesse.





*If you're wondering about these two pictures, go to namesinthesand.blogspot.com. This family, as a way to minister to those who are grieving the loss of a baby or child, writes names in the sand. They write the names for free but allow you to purchase the images if you so desire.