I haven't done enough research to know if this is a medical fact or not, but I'm convinced it is. It's not necessary to have an infant to have baby blues. Now that I've gone through three miscarriages within a year, I'm certain that women who miscarry struggle with postpartum depression. (Granted, it might be hard to differentiate postpartum depression from grief; nonetheless, my hormones are not right. And the more times I miscarry, the more I'm convinced that it's deeper than grief. It's biological in nature.)
Yesterday, to get my mind off of everything, I started planning how I wanted to redecorate Rylan's room. I searched online until I found the perfect "All Sports" bedspread. Then we packed up the family and headed to town to buy the bedspread and matching paint. Unfortunately, when we arrived at Target, the bedspread I wanted was sold out.
It shouldn't have been that big of a deal. The store offered to provide me a raincheck, so I could probably get it within a week or two at the same discounted rate. Did that matter to this crazy woman? Nope. I (thankfully) held myself together while I was in the store. But as soon as we made it to the car, I felt the tears gather in the corners of my eyes. I was crying over a bedspread-pathetic. And not at all like me.
Postpartum depression isn't reserved for those holding infants in their arms. It hits those of us who lose our babies mid-pregnancy too.
So next time you see a woman tear up over a sold-out item or cry because of a mess, try to give her a break. Just because she doesn't look pregnant doesn't mean she might not have recently miscarried. Who knows what she's going through? Those tears might be the result of something much deeper than a missing bedspread; they might be the result of a missing baby. A baby that her arms longed so much to hold.