Wednesday, January 18, 2012

How to Tell A Friend Who Recently Miscarried that You're Pregnant

I've had plenty of opportunities to figure out both good and bad ways to tell someone who has recently miscarried that you're pregnant. I hope this post helps you know how to better communicate with someone dealing with grief because of a miscarriage.

What NOT to Do:
1. Ignore them and hope someone else tells them your news.
2. Treat them exactly the same way you would if they were still pregnant.

What TO Do:
1. Tell them before you make a public announcement. If you only do one of these things, please do this! Pregnancy announcements sting, but at least when you do it this way, they know you have thought about their feelings and you care about what they're going through.
2. Acknowledge their loss.
3. Ask them how you can be sensitive to their grief when you share pregnancy updates.
4. Allow them to be a little bit sad, and try not to take it personally. They're happy for you, just sad for themselves. They wish so much that they could be in your shoes. That they too could feel their baby move. Find out the gender. Hear the heartbeat. Don't take it personally if they hurt because of your announcement. It's not your pregnancy that hurts them but their lack of pregnancy.

To those of you who have miscarried, any other tips?

No comments:

Post a Comment