Wednesday, January 4, 2012

2012: The Year of . . .

Photo Courtesy of Petr Kratochvil/
In January of 2011, I asked the Lord to give us a year of rainbows. As I read that post this morning, I felt the pain all over again. At that point, I had only had one miscarriage. Two more followed in the months to come. Looking back now, 2011 was not the year of rainbows I hoped for. In fact, the majority of the year was pretty painful. More storms than clear skies.

This year, I'm not asking God to give me rainbows. That way, if he doesn't, I won't be crushed like I was last year. I am asking for something else, though.

The faith to take whatever the year sends my way. Do I want a pain-free year? Absolutely. Do I long for a healthy pregnancy? Sure. But this year, I know there are no guarantees. God never promised me a carefree life. He never promised health. Never promised the easy road. What he did promise was this: that he would be with me through it all.

So 2012, I'm claiming you as the year of faith. May I be faithful, regardless of the weather of my life.


  1. I just lost our first and only child -- she was stillborn at 31 weeks of pregnancy. I feel the same way as you write. I am afraid to pray for happy things, for rainbow babies, but I can pray for more of God, more of what He knows I need. I am still afraid even praying that, but it seems better.

  2. Oh Beth, I am so very sorry. No other words...

  3. Hello. I am very sorry for your loss. I have been in similar situation myself. I prayed for peace and comfort every day, but I still had very difficult time to cope. A friend of mine recommended a healing session transforming the loss through deep relaxation and imagery. It happened over the phone in one session, and it worked for me! I felt immediate relief. I still grieved, but without the overwhelming painful emotions, rather with peace and acceptance. I was back in the light outside of the darkness where I spent my days after the loss. This happened years ago, and it changed my life on many levels. I wanted to help other women to heal from their painful loss. I studied and trained and I became a facilitator of healing sessions myself. I see women in my office and I also conduct sessions via phone. If you would like to ease your pain, I would love to hear from you. Warmly, Sabina